This is what Love is. 11-03-08

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An Ancient Tale Repeats Itself Today

I see you walking along.
I see you walking alone.
I see you walking slowly.
I see you walking fast.

I see you walking nowhere.
I see you walking anywhere.
I see you walking forever.
I see you walking never.

I see you running away.

Mourn of a Selfish Soul

I used to get happy because of just one glimpse of your slightly unusual (in a good way) face.
Nowadays it makes me sad.
It makes me sad because of the memories.
Because of the hateful words.

You are still able to make me smile, even though I would like to be angry with you because of what you did to me.
You’re not the only one that got hurt, you know.
I never thought we would end up this way.
I thought, I hoped, we would be forever.

Guess not.
People go away, it’s a habit.
People tend to go away from me after a year or so, actually.
I hoped this would be different ‘cause I really felt a connection.

You probably don’t really want to read this, thinking this is just another mourn of a selfish soul.
Maybe it is, but that doesn’t mean I am not allowed to be heard.
To express my feelings, even if they are incorrect and unfair.
This is just my way of letting go.

I hope you read this, I really do.
You don’t have to agree with me, but you should understand.
You did in the past, so you can’t say it is impossible.
I just hope you’ll remember me when you’re really gone.

Waking from Sleep

I know that I’m not perfect
I’m not perfect at all.
Just remember that all of this
Was never my intention.

I’m glad to know what went wrong
I’m glad to know how I failed.
I just hope that you’ll never forget me
The real me.

You’ve seen her, some time back then.

I should have changed earlier
I should have seen it before.
But I was just trying my hardest
To make you happy.

If you would just see that.
In this sort of thing
Guilt is on both sides
And I don’t blame you for my actions
But please elaborate on yours.

Anyway, I guess I’m feeling better now
I don’t depend on you.
Just remember that
Guilt is on both sides
But friendship should be too.

Days of the Obliviant

One day I will not be there.
Curse the day.
Curse your ways.

You’re losing me
I’m passing away
Fading away from you.

Curse that day.
Curse your ways.

You don’t see it
You don’t see me
You never do.

Curse these days.
Curse your ways.

You have no idea
Oblivious; ignorant
Forever.

Curse your days.
Curse your ways.

One day you will understand
What you did wrong.
I hope that’s the day you die.

Die in vain.
Die in pain.

Another Brick in Your Wall

It’s just that I still love you, though less than I used to.
It’s just that I still have the urge to be with you, though less than I used to.
It’s just that I’m afraid to lose you, now we’re almost done at high school.
And it seems that you don’t.

That’s why I’m feeling alone.
I hate being alone.
I hate this.
I hate being uncomfortable when I talk to you.
I hate being constantly weary of the things I’m saying.
I hate the fact that you would never start talking to me if I didn’t start talking to you.
I hate you.
And I hate the fact that I don’t.

I just hoped that after breaking down your wall, you would trust me with your thoughts like you did back then.

10 Songs that Remind me of Him

1. A Perfect Circle – Sleeping Beauty
2. Muse – Falling Away with You
3. Flyleaf – Broken Wings
4. A Perfect Circle – 3 Libras
5. Limbonic Art – Moon in the Scorpio
6. Pocahontas – Skirmish
7. Alan Parsons Project – Old and Wise
8. Placebo – Song to Say Goodbye
9. Coldplay – Trouble
10. Paramore – I Caught Myself

Dream Walker

Dream walker keeps me from resting
He makes my mind confused
I dwell in his kingdom forever
Not strong enough to make my dreams come true.

Angel of mercy, angel of death
Angel of all
I regret
He is everything.

Not worthy a glance
Of his pale blue eyes
Looking right through me
He’s a king; I a mere beggar.

For my grief will never dissolve
But hope never fades away
I’m lost in his lands of loneliness
He makes me walk the circle over and over.

You never leave me to rest.

About a stupid poems and three thumbs.

I am a girl that scratches herself so that she can concentrate on the pain that’s outside of her body instead of within.

I am a girl that cries about stupid poems and dumb melodies because she doesn’t know what’s really the cause of her tears.

I am a girl with a dry skin that shows many cracks and flakes and that represents her inner self so she desperately tries to make her skin greasier but it never works.

I am a girl that almost had an affair but it never happened because she was afraid and sometimes she wishes that she had pushed it through ‘cause now she’s losing him.

I am a girl that wishes that everybody needed her so she at least would have a cause.

I am a girl that leaves her window open at night even when it’s freezing outside because she’s scared that she’ll have a lack of oxygen and die in her sleep.

I am a girl that dreams every night and always remembers them and it’s tiring because she always knows that there’s a reason behind them but she’s never able to find that out until it has already happened.

I am a girl that was born with three thumbs and that represents how asymmetric she is.

Butterfly Spree Kill

I can still remember the pain in your pale blue eyes when you wanted to kiss me but couldn’t because it’s morally unaccepted.

I know how it hurts because I felt the same the week before.

I would have done it if our minds weren’t yelling at us so much.

It would have been good because you would have had your first kiss given to you by someone who loves you with all her heart.

On the other hand, it would have been wrong because you would have felt guilty afterwards and it would haunt you for the rest of your life.

It wouldn’t be something you could look back on with a smile on your face.

First kisses should bring butterflies forth, not kill them.