Springblossominwinter's Weblog

I carry your heart with me

springblossominwinter — Sun, 31 May 2009 21:37:55 +0000

I carry your heart with me (I carry it in my heart)
I am never without it (anywhere I go you go, my dear; and whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling)
I fear
No fate (for you are my fate, my sweet) I want
No world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
And it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
And whatever a sun will always sing is you

Here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
And this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart

I carry your heart (I carry it in my heart)

- E E Cummings

Red Sam

springblossominwinter — Tue, 12 May 2009 20:20:17 +0000

Hier sta ik
Lege handen
Wensend dat mijn polsen bloedden
Om de pijn van de kloppingen weg te houden

Daar stond jij
Je houdt me vast
En wacht tot ik je opmerk

Maar wie ben je?
Je bent de waarheid
Die deze leugens overstemt
Je bent de waarheid
Die mijn leven redt

De warmte van je omhelzing
Smelt mijn bevroren ziel
Je spreek de waarheid en ik luister
De woorden zijn, ik hou van jou
En ik moet in je geloven

Maar wie ben je?
Je bent de waarheid
Die deze leugens overstemt
Je bent de waarheid
Die mijn leven redt

Mijn handen zijn open
En jij vervult ze
Handen in de lucht
In de lucht, in de lucht, in de lucht

En ik aanbid
En ik aanbid
En ik aanbid

Jou

Je bent de waarheid
Die deze leugens overstemt
Je bent de waarheid
Die mijn leven redt.

Please say these words to me.

springblossominwinter — Tue, 05 May 2009 19:50:21 +0000

“I love you too.”

Genetically determined

springblossominwinter — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 15:58:47 +0000

It’s actually kind of weird that I never got drunk before.
I mean, after all the things I’ve been through.
And alcoholism is genetically determined.
So.

And by the way, after just one sip of beer I’m kind of jumpy.
So I would just need one beer, maybe two, and I’d be away.

Maybe I need some more to forget what I did the night before.
And I should do it on a Saturday, ‘cause on Sunday I can stay in bed.

This is probably why I’m never drinking; I think too much about it. I plan these things. God, seriously.
I can’t let go. I need control. How painful it might be.

This is so fucking annoying.

Houten hart

springblossominwinter — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 13:32:41 +0000

Mijn hart is niet van steen
Een geval van zuiver hout
Het was het beste dat ik vinden kon
Toen iemand wegging met het goud
Mijn hart is van het hardste hout
Maar het buigt nog als het moet
Maar niet te ver en rustig aan
Ik weet nog niet echt wat het doet

Dit is mijn hart
Mijn houten hart
De heren voor u hebben het alvast verzwaard
Dus wees maar lief
Het kan geen kwaad
En stelen lijkt me niet de moeite waard

Je kan er goed op laten lopen
Dan doet het niet zo’n pijn
Als toen ik het origineel nog had
Het gouden, goud maar klein
Dit hart, ik heb het pas gekocht
Bewust een tweedehands
Je blijft geen gouden kopen
Ook al had je wel de kans

Dit is mijn hart
Mijn houten hart
De heren voor u hebben het alvast verzwaard
Dus wees maar lief
Het kan geen kwaad
En stelen lijkt me niet de moeite waard

Het voordeel van een houten hart
Je bent voorzichtiger met vuur
De splinters zijn voor anderen
Er hoeft geen slot op en is dus helemaal niet duur

Dit is mijn hart
Mijn houten hart.
-de Poema’s

She needs you

springblossominwinter — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 07:09:08 +0000

Tell her how you admire her. Always tell her you love her at all times. When she’s upset, hold her tight. Pick her over all the other girls you hang out with. Play with her hair. Pick her up, tickle her and wrestle with her. Just talk to her. Tell her jokes. Bring her flowers just because. Hold her hand and run. Just hold her hand. Throw pebbles at her window at night. Let her fall asleep in your arms. Sing to her no matter how awful you sound. Get her mad at you. Then kiss her. Push her on swings. Tell her she looks beautiful. When she’s sad, stay on the phone with her, even if she’s not saying anything. Look into her eyes and smile. Kiss her on her forehead. Slow dance with her even if there’s no music. Kiss her in the rain. And when you fall in love with her…
Tell her.
- Unknown

Eyes of the Fallen

springblossominwinter — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 13:07:54 +0000

Wandering around in the forest of your thoughts
And no one there to lead you the way
Out into the open fields
Where everything comes clear

The eyes of the fallen
Close them and remind yourself of love
When you only speak of hate
Don’t be afraid

And you want to give up on love
But still you’re fighting and holding the hand
Of the faithful waiting
Until you start to fly

The eyes of the fallen
Open up and look up to the sun
Warmth surrounding
An ice cold heart

Don’t slip away into the shadows
To save your melting heart
Don’t give up on love
It may hurt at first but it always gets better

The eyes of the fallen
Cold and blue but beautiful
Forget the pain; forget the hatred
Smile and love again

Dance in the sunlight

springblossominwinter — Sat, 21 Mar 2009 12:07:47 +0000

Dwelling in the soft light of the moon
So many things you’d like to undo
Force yourself to stay awake
All of the things you’d like to take

Back from the past
Back from the future
Back from the day
Back from the night

You’re not alone

Hiding in the forest of your thoughts
So many things that have gone lost
But stay awake and don’t be shy
Wait for the sun to rise

You’re not alone

Dance in the past
Dance in the future
Dance in the day
Dance in the night

Dance in the sunlight

Listen; it’s your heart speaking.

springblossominwinter — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 21:27:33 +0000

Finding yourself is a difficult task. I know, I went through it a couple of years ago. You feel hurt, everything is in your way.
Seeing the bigger picture isn’t in your dictionary. You’re lost in yourself and unable to see the things in perspective.

The point is, that because of this you hurt other people. You never meant to, well at least at first you didn’t, but you just can’t reach your goal and so you’re angry.
You’re mad.
You’re livid.
I understand.

And you probably don’t want to listen to me. Quite logical, of course, since I have been in your way for a long time. I’m trying to do better now, can’t you see?
You might refuse to believe that I’m right, but you know that I am. Your heart says I am. I know it.
And if it’s not, then I’ve mistaken you big time. I just hope that you have a good reason for it.

But please think about it. Please.
I don’t know what your goal is, but reaching your goal isn’t the most important thing. It is how you came there. It’s the way to it, not the goal itself.
So please stop hurting. Please stop making people cry. Please stop breaking hearts and crushing souls.
Please stop forcing your friends to cope with you when you’re being like this. Please.
We might be losing you but you’re certainly losing us, dear.

Unconsciously

springblossominwinter — Mon, 16 Mar 2009 14:50:01 +0000

It has been long since I saw you smiling heartily. It made me feel good.
You know I never wanted to hurt you, deep down, somewhere. I’m so extremely sorry.
My feelings have changed towards you. Sometimes I see you and feel the butterflies again, but then you start talking and acting like you do and I remember who you are.
I’m glad he isn’t mine. I love you.
I keep having these weird dreams about you and when I wake up I always feel bad. Like I don’t deserve to have a good night sleep or something.
I’m sorry I am this way. I wish I could make you happier. It’s just that while he’s there, I can’t change. I keep running the same circle.
Let me go.
Maybe it’s ok that I’m losing him. Although it hurts.
Don’t leave me.
I love you.
Sometimes you’re ok. Sometimes you’re fine. Sometimes you’re great. I miss you.
He’s not the one I thought he was. He has changed.
If this is who you are, who you were the whole time, beneath the surface, then I’ve mistaken you.
Why did I think that he was special again? When all this time I had you?
I guess my dreams are true. Every time I dream about you, you end up hurting me, most of the time you’re not even conscious of it. That’s the worst part.
It’s just so annoying that he never listens. I’m so happy you do.
Maybe it’s fine that we part. We might be just too alike. I’ll never forget you.
I’ll be with you forever.